A Royal Welcome
by Alyosha1
Summary: Jack Sparrow is returning to Port Royal for repairs - Though initially expected to be a drama, this story has become more of a comedy, a DRAMATIC comedy, mind you. :)
1. Pirates!

Well, I've finally gotten the time to work on this! I've updated and changed some of the story so you'll probably want to read all the way through, even if you've already read it. I did the most changes for Ch. 4, 5, 6, and 7. Yup! And I added a bit on too! I'm going to try and update this more often. I'm in my second semester of college now, things were just too hectic to update until now. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this! Review if ya want, 'cause I like them reviews!  
  
Ch. 1  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow hurled himself at the deck of his ship, the Black Pearl, clawing and scratching wildly. Chunks of rotted wood flew. About five minutes into his pursuit, he located his prize.  
  
"Ah HA!" He yelled. He held up his victim, his pinky finger daintily extended. It was a dirty, white grub, which had been busy burrowing itself in the deck  
  
Jack leapt up, a bit clumsily, practically skipped to the edge of the boat, and dropped the small creature into the foaming water below. With a smug smile on his face, he sauntered back to his patch of rotted timber and began to search for a bottle of rum he had left there. Such success deserved a celebratory swig.  
  
Several members of Captain Sparrow's crew watched in concerned silence. Ana Maria let out a short, rather irritated laugh. "He's been at this all afternoon. He digs around until he finds one of those little wood buggers, hurls it out to sea, and then heads to the bottle! I think it is time I had a bit of a talk with our Mr. Sparrow." She leapt off the bridge where she had been standing, and walked purposefully over to Jack, who had returned to the edge of the ship and was staring over the side, looking rather melancholy.  
  
When he heard Ana's footsteps, he turned and spoke. "Those poor little fellows really didn't even have a chance. I don't suppose they can swim very well. Ah..well actually, they really can't do much at all but sort of sit there and squirm about." He turned his sad eyes back to the water.  
  
Irritated as she was, Ana found this rather amusing. This pirate was incapable of hurting a fly.  
  
Remembering her purpose, she began her verbal abuse. "Jack, you must face it! The Pearl is falling to pieces! While you are up here digging for worms, we are draining the pond that has taken up below deck! The only thing holding this ship together was that curse, and unless you've got another one stashed in that fancy coat of yours, we're going to have to make anchor somewhere real soon, before this bloody bag of bones goes under!"  
  
Jack turned and stared at her as she finished. An entire afternoon of rum, sun, and grub-hunting had made him a bit unfocused. He blinked. "First of all, it's Captain Jack to you, darling, and second, do you really think the coat is fancy?"  
  
Ana Maria's eyes narrowed in fury. Jack cringed and tried to look concentrated on what was happening on the sea below him. She started again. "Look around you, JACK", she growled, gesturing to the site of Jack's recent excavations. "This boat is as pitted and rotted as an old mango! Our new sails are good for nothing! Before this boat came back to you, it was carried by some evil wind from hell, and it was endowed with its speed by the devil! But now it is nothing! Any boat in the Caribbean could out sail the Pearl!"  
  
At this, Jack just turned and gazed behind his ship, at the foaming wake. Ana Maria's anger quickly changed to confusion. "What is it now? Are you not listening to me? What are you staring back there for?" She lowered her gaze to match Jack's.  
  
He turned to her, eyes wide. "You're quite right. The Pearl is just a shadow of what she used to be."  
  
Ana Maria softened at the sad look in his brown eyes, and was ready to forgive him as she saw him staring tranquilly at the expanse of sea behind them...perhaps he was thinking of the past, how things had changed so much, what he had left behind...  
  
"What is it Jack?" She asked gently  
  
"You see, love, how clear and bright it is back there?" he gestured to the stretch of sea behind them.  
  
"Aye?" She said in curiosity.  
  
" I dearly miss that large, dismal cloud of fog and smoke that used to trail behind the Pearl when she was cursed. It was really very intimidating." Before Ana could take in what he had said, he leapt up and started scrambling clumsily up the riggings. He was quite high before he heard the yell of anger behind him.  
  
"What, were you expecting something deep, missy?" He laughed. "I'd need a couple more swigs of rum first! I'm infinitely more profound when I'm drunk!" He settled himself contently among the sails, and after checking to make sure that Ana had decided not to give chase (she had, in fact, proceeded below the decks, muttering a string of colorful words.) he gazed happily out at the sea.  
  
He did have a plan. He pulled a small, frilly piece of paper out of the depths of his jacket. It was an invitation, a wedding invitation sent from Will and Elizabeth, via Mr. Cotton's parrot. The Pearl would again taint the waters of Port Royal. She would be repaired and improved, and her captain would have the opportunity to spend a whole day and night drinking rum, laughing, and seducing poor young noblewomen. Jack chuckled to himself. "I love weddings.." 


	2. The Birds

Ch. 2  
  
It was a soft, almost windless evening. Ana Maria leaned against one of the Pearl's masts, watching the dark line of dry land grow steadily larger and larger before her. They would soon reach the harbor, and she was fairly confident that they would make it there in one piece.  
  
She jumped a bit as she heard a noise above her. Glancing up, she saw it was a large pelican that had decided to accompany the ship. They were close enough to shore now that quite a few birds were beginning to use the ship as their perch. She chuckled as the pelican let out a squawk and fluffed out its feathers. She then began to make her way to the bridge to find Jack. They would soon be preparing to make anchor.  
  
She found the Captain on the bridge of the ship. He jumped a bit when he saw her, eyes darting about, and then gave her a quick smile, flashing multi-colored teeth. He looked very, very nervous. Ana Maria stared at him. She decided not to ask if anything was troubling him. She knew he would deny it. She simply asked him if he was ready to sail into the harbor. He muttered something indistinguishable in response, and then waved her off. She glared at him for a moment, and then she jumped off the bridge. Looking back once, she saw him raise his hands near his chest, as if preparing to protect himself from some attacker.  
  
Walking towards the cabins, she hurried down the stairs that led below deck. There she found the majority of the crew working to keep the ship afloat. Straining her eyes in the murky darkness, she found Mr. Gibbs, and pulled him aside.  
  
"What is it, Missy?" He asked, wiping off his wet hands on his shirt. "Are we getting close to the Port?"  
  
"Yes" She began tentatively, "but our Captain is behaving a bit strangely.."  
  
Mr. Gibbs stared at her. "and....?" he asked. The Captain acting a bit oddly was generally not a cause of concern. He acted that way most of the time.  
  
"and what??" cried Ana. "He's acting as if some beast from Hell is going to pounce up and eat him!"  
  
Mr. Gibbs laughed. "He's nervous, is he? I thought he'd be over that by now..." He reached over and groped for some flint, and quickly lit a lantern. By the soft light he could see the questioning in Ana's eyes.  
  
"Tell me, missy, are the birds already making roost on the sails? Are we close enough to shore?"  
  
"Well, yes" She answered him, a bit angrily "But what does that-"  
  
"Did you not know, Miss Ana, that he is terrified of pelicans?"  
  
She stared at him. "Jack? Afraid of..pelicans?"  
  
Gibbs laughed louder. "Aye! He's absolutely mortified of them. He was eating some fish once, and a particular brassy one tried to grab it right out of his mouth. One of the most amusin' things I've ever seen, truth be told, but I think Jack took it a bit to heart."  
  
He chortled to himself a bit longer, and then stopped himself to speak seriously to Ana Maria. "Ya best not be tellin' him I spoke of this. I don't believe he'd want his crew knowin' about it."  
  
"Yes...I understand" murmured Ana. She smiled, a bit wickedly in Mr. Gibbs opinion, and started towards the stairs, yelling for the rest of the crew to come and prepare the ship to anchor.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Up on deck, Jack was falling to pieces. "Bloody creatures.." he muttered to himself, eyeing the birds perched around the ship. He shuddered involuntarily as one swooped down near his head. Then, hearing a noise directly behind him, he snapped, and letting out a yell, he leaped around and hurled himself at his attacker. It was Ana again. He stopped in mid- attack, staring at his first-mate, considering his ridiculous stance. Regaining his composure, he drew himself to his full height, and straightened his coat a bit. He opened his mouth to say something, and although he was usually quite quick with his tongue, he found himself lacking of words.  
  
"I...hmm. Well...yes. ah...GET TO WORK, YOU LAZY DOG! THIS SHIP WON'T SAIL ITSELF!" He shouted in his most commanding captain's voice. Ana Maria didn't move.  
  
He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well?"  
  
"Of course, Captain" she said submissively. "I simply came to bring you your dinner." He narrowed his eyes at her. Ana was never this agreeable. He opened his mouth, but was never able to speak. His eyes grew wide as Ana pulled the bucket of fish from behind her back. They grew wider as she proceeded to dump them all over the ship's deck. Both the Captain and his first-mate stood in silence. The overwhelming smell of fish wafted around them. The feathered passengers on the ship soon realized it was dinner time. A large, squawking flock descended on the meal.  
  
Ana wasn't sure if Jack would react by fighting or fleeing. It turned out to be neither. A large pelican had perched itself on Jack's head. He blinked, stumbled a bit, and then fainted to the deck with a thump, followed by a squawk and a ruffling of feathers as the pelican settled itself on his back.  
  
Ana smiled. This was what she had been hoping for. Shooing the pelican away, she dragged Jack to his quarters (something she had often done after he had a bit too much rum), and then returned to the bridge to steer the ship into Port Royal. It was early evening, and had Jack been conscious for their arrival, it would have been a prime time for him to head to shore for a night on the town. Had this been Tortuga, she wouldn't have minded. But this was Port Royal, and knowing that trouble would inevitably find Jack Sparrow, Ana preferred to have him unconscious for their arrival. The quieter and less intrusive they were, the better. They could head to shore in the morning, when liquor and loose women would be a bit more difficult to come by, and they could concentrate on repairs for the ship.  
  
The Black Pearl once again glided into Port Royal, this time under hands of Ana Maria. The night was calm. There would be no unexpected slaughter tonight. The Pearl dropped anchor, and settled quietly into the dark waters. 


	3. An Eventful Morning

Ch. 3  
  
It was a beautiful morning in Port Royal, and aboard the Black Pearl, Captain Jack Sparrow awoke. He didn't open his eyes. He had been having a dream, though he couldn't remember what had happened. He simply felt very happy, as though he had just lived out part of his life in his head, and it had gone very well. He rolled over and tried to fall asleep again, to return to the images that he had already forgotten. The content feeling faded, however, replaced by all the thoughts and worries of the present time.  
  
Giving up his attempt at slumber, he sat up, blinking in the sunlight that was filling his cabin. He crawled off his bed and stood up. He was still wearing his clothes from the day before, and smiled happily when he realized that he was already prepared for what the day would bring. He decided not to wash, because Ana Maria hated it when he began to smell, and his filthiness would have to do as revenge for the pelican incident until he thought up something better.  
  
Straightening his hat a bit, he headed for the kitchen, as food was his first and foremost concern. He could eat breakfast, and then proceed from there. Most days he never really had an overall plan. Plans, after all, could be constricting. A day in his life went something like this.  
  
Morning: Wake up. Breakfast. Complain about breakfast. (Too many maggots in toast, rotten papayas, etc. ) Put on boots. Find remains of bad breakfast in boots. Complain to Cook, who claims dog did it. No dog on ship.  
  
Afternoon: Order the crew around. Practice being suave and roguish, while still maintaining charming innocence. Think up nasty jokes involving Jack and Cook's mother. Go to dinner. Check dinner for any surprises. Eat dinner. Nap. Bad dream about Jack and Cook's mother.  
  
Evening: Wake up. Order the crew around. Nothing left for crew to do. Order crew to drink rum and stumble around in drunken stupor for Jack's entertainment. Get in fight with Ana Maria over orders. Ana Maria wins, by suggesting mutiny. Bad experience with mutiny. Order crew to bring Jack rum instead. Crew complies. Go to dinner. Get in fight with cook about wearing hat at table. Perfect opportunity to tell jokes about Jack and Cook's mother. Cook thinks up better joke about Jack's mother and Cook. Take hat off. Remind Cook that Jack is Captain. Cook reminds Jack that he has rum. Stupid cook.  
  
Late Evening: Drink rum.  
  
Later evening: Drink more rum. Begin to feel profound. Share with crew profound thoughts about freedom and sailing. Crew looks confused. Share with crew another nasty joke about Jack and Cook's mother. Crew looks disgusted. Share with crew the story about the time Jack fought giant lobster. Crew laughs. Ha ha. Feel very happy. Start to sing. Mr. Cotton's parrot makes mean joke about Jack's singing and beached whale. Yell at Mr. Cotton's parrot. Make mean joke about Mr. Cotton's parrot and Cook's mother. Get in brawl with Mr. Cotton's parrot. Parrot wins. Advantage of opposable thumbs not enough, as parrot has very sharp beak, and pointy claws. Pout and drink more rum. Fall asleep on deck.  
  
This schedule, of course, was not the norm, and the only events that were consistently repeated were the drinking of the rum and the occasional spar with Ana Maria or Mr. Cotton's parrot.  
  
After breakfast, Jack informed Mr. Gibbs would he would soon be going ashore, and then he went in search of Ana Maria. He had decided it was time for the renowned Captain Jack Sparrow and his loyal first-mate to travel into Port Royal, in search of the people and materials that would be employed towards the repair of his ship. He found her near the stern of the ship, struggling with the riggings holding one of the lifeboats.  
  
'Planning on leaving, were you?" He asked.  
  
"Of course not, Captain. I thought I might lower this lifeboat and then haul it up again. Just to make sure that it is working, of course." She replied sarcastically.  
  
"Your words are like daggers through me heart, love." He smiled.  
  
"And your smell is like a saber through my stomach" She retorted, not missing a beat.  
  
"Is it? I'm glad you noticed." He strolled over to help her, knowing that without interruptions, their verbal exchanges could continue for hours. He began to pull of the tattered canvas cloth that covered the small boat.  
  
In a few minutes, the little boat was bobbing in the cool, blue water. Jack released the rope ladder that was rolled against the side of the ship, and it tumbled down to the lifeboat. He bowed to Ana Maria and held out his hand. "After you, love" Seeing this moment of weakness as an opportunity, Ana quickly shoved him over the side of the Pearl. A familiar feeling off guilt washed over her when she heard him splash into the water below. After all, she was always fighting with him, or sending pelicans after him, or insulting him, and he WAS the Captain. He had always been nothing but honorable towards her. Nevertheless, she couldn't have him walking into Port Royal smelling like he did. The dip in the sea would do him good. She would make it up to him by rowing into shore.  
  
She climbed down the ladder, where she was met by a sopping, bedraggled looking Jack. Realizing that his hat was still floating in the water, Ana plucked it out of the water and tentatively handed it to him. He stared at it for a moment, then daintily reached out his ring-bedecked fingers to take it from her. Placing it atop his head, he slid off the bench of the lifeboat and spread himself out in the sun, closing his eyes, and to all appearances, fell asleep.  
  
It was not until they were halfway to shore that he spoke.  
  
"You know, love, if me clothes don't dry out by the time we reach the shore, I'll have to leave them to dry. I can't stand having people seeing me all wet and drippy. I'd much prefer they see me in nothing but my hat. "  
  
Ana Maria didn't want to think about that. She slowed her rowing pace. Jack looked up at her and gave a small smile, then he closed his eyes and stretched out a bit more. The hot Caribbean sun dried him quickly, and he was able to saunter fully clothed onto the hot beach, much to the relief of his first mate. 


	4. Lunch at the Blacksmith's

Ch.4  
  
Captain Jack dropped onto the hot sand and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm sun on his face. It was a lovely day. His siesta was interrupted by an impatient grunt from Ana Maria.  
  
He squinted up at her. "What is it now, darlin'? We're in no hurry!"  
  
Ana Maria said nothing, and pointed to where the Black Pearl was anchored in the harbor. Compared to the other ships in the harbor, she was like a mongrel amongst a pack of fine hunting hounds. And she was beginning to look rather lopsided.  
  
"Savvy?" asked Ana Maria.  
  
"Savvy." Jack mumbled, with a wounded look, and held out a hand so she could haul him to his feet.  
  
He had only been up for several seconds at the most, when he was bowled over by a tall, moving object.  
  
"Jack!! Jack Sparrow!" cried out Will Turner, as he fiercely pounded the stunned pirate on the back.  
  
Elizabeth had come also, and when Will released Jack from the bear hug, she approached the two, smiling. Jack stood for a moment, looking a bit startled, slowly taking in all of these new developments.  
  
Nobody had ever seemed this happy to see him. He considered this.  
  
Most people either attacked him, ran from him, tried to abandon him, or slapped him.  
  
Someone really cared for him. This made him feel really, actually happy. He was rather embarrassed at his generous feelings.  
  
Suddenly he realized that he had been standing for several minutes considering his new friends, and that Will, Elizabeth, and Ana were all staring at him oddly.  
  
Regaining his wits, he smiled roguishly at Will and Elizabeth. "It's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, lad."  
  
Will laughed as Jack reminded him of his official title. "Its good to see you, Captain Jack!" He turned to Ana. "And you too, Ana Maria!" Suddenly, a concerned look passed over his eyes. "Where is the rest of your crew?" He eyed Jack suspiciously. "You've kept them all well, haven't you?"  
  
Jack pretended to take offense at this, and then smiled devilishly. "How do you define 'well' , Mr. Turner?"  
  
Will and Elizabeth looked worried.  
  
Ana glared at Jack. "Don't worry, they're all still with us. They're on the boat, working repairs." She looked at Will, smiling "Oh, and it's 'FIRST MATE Ana Maria' ".  
  
At this comment, Jack sidled up to Will and whispered to him loudly. "Don't mind her sarcasm. The lass is just a bit put out, because she didn't get to see me with me trousers off."  
  
Will's eyes got wide, Ana gaped, and Elizabeth emitted a very un-ladylike snort of laughter.  
  
Jack looked at Elizabeth. "Fish in your throat, eh love?", then he smiled and winked at Ana Maria, content that he had gotten revenge for the pelican incident.  
  
Will's face turned a bit red, and he spoke before Ana Maria had a chance to reply to Jack's statement, or use physical violence against him, either one. 'Well then, would you like to come up to my shop? I'm sure you have business, but the forge is right in town, you wouldn't have to stay for long."  
  
"That would be lovely!" said Jack. "Shall we, then?" He offered his arm to a fuming Ana Maria, and motioned to the dirt road leading up from the docks to the main town of Port Royal.  
  
"Of course!" said Will loudly "Follow me!"  
  
They started up the hill, Elizabeth taking Will's arm, Jack and Ana Maria following them. On a whim, Ana stuck out her foot in Jack's path, causing him to trip, and his hat to fly forward. He tried to scramble to his feet, but before he could do so Ana had run over and yanked his trousers down. He let out a yell.  
  
Will and Elizabeth turned in time to see Ana running up to them, Jack chasing her, yelling, with his trousers at his feet. Will turned red, Elizabeth gasped, and then they both started laughing.  
  
When Ana reached them, she shook her head. "I can't believe he would do that in town! I wish he would realize I'm just not that kind of girl." Then she turned and grinned at Jack, who was busy yanking up his trousers. Poor Jack. He just couldn't win. ~~~~~~~~~  
  
When they reached the forge, Will lead them inside. He took them from to a small area away from the tools and bellows. It was a warm, softly lit area where Will usually ate his dinner or rested. Nearby sat a large collection of swords. Will laughed when he saw Jack looking at them, remembering their first meeting.  
  
"Not getting any ideas, are we, Captain Jack?"  
  
Jack grinned in reply, pulled out a chair from a small table that at nearby, and plopped himself down. Ana Maria and Elizabeth settled themselves next to him. Elizabeth looked expectantly at Will, a small smile on her face. "Will, dear, aren't you going to offer our guests something to eat?" She smiled at him.  
  
Jack smiled too. "Yes, Will, bring us something to eat!"  
  
Will raised an eyebrow at both of them, and began digging around in his cupboards for food.  
  
Elizabeth turned to Jack. "I'm guessing from your presence here that you received our invitation?"  
  
"I did indeed. Very quickly, in fact. Eager, are we?" Jack replied, with a very significant wink. Ana Maria rolled her eyes.  
  
Elizabeth smiled at Ana and continued, ignoring Jack's suggestive comment.  
  
"I'm glad you could make it on time. I must say, Will and I weren't sure that you would. After you returned to the Pearl, we didn't expect to see you for quite a while. A fast ship and an entire ocean gives you quite a bit of freedom, after all." She smiled mischievously.  
  
He chuckled. "Aye, that it does. But as it turns out, some well-aimed cannon balls and an extended family of wood worms have inhibited that freedom a bit."  
  
Will returned to the table, carrying the bounty of the cupboard. He placed it on the table. "So the Pearl isn't in good shape?"  
  
Jack looked at him, and eyed the plate of food. "Aye. It was the curse that made her stay afloat and that made her swift. She's still an excellent boat without it. Just a bit roughed up." He sighed at the thought of his beloved Pearl. Ana Maria noticed his melancholy look, and felt sorry for him. He was really very endearing when he was sad.  
  
Jack perked up noticeably when the food reached the table, and his ring- covered hand was soon hovering over the random arrangement of biscuits and fruit that Will offered him. He chose carefully, and began eating. Then he had a second thought, and returning to the plate, he picked up a papaya and handed it to Ana. "You like these, don't you love?" He asked.  
  
She nodded and took the fruit, rather touched, as they were her favorite. She pulled out a knife from her sash and began cutting the fruit away from the seeds.  
  
Will took a biscuit, munching on it and thinking. "All the best craftsmen in this port make shop right here alongside the forge. I'm sure you can find someone to purchase timber and tar from." Jack nodded. "Aye...I'm sure you're right lad." He had an evil gleam in his eye.  
  
Will looked at him suspiciously. "I know that look, Jack. You're not planning on buying that timber, are you?"  
  
Jack tried to look hurt. "Now whatever would make you think that, lad? I'm a free man now, newly pardoned by Governor Swann, and I plan on abiding strictly to the law."  
  
Will didn't look convinced. "Just be careful, Jack."  
  
Jack smiled at him. "You forget, lad, that I'm Captain Jack Sparrow... Savvy?"  
  
"What exactly does 'savvy' mean, Mr. Sparrow?" asked Elizabeth, before anyone could give him a "savvy." in return.  
  
Jack looked disgruntled. Elizabeth smiled, and Ana laughed, something she rarely did. Jack forgot his disappointment and listened.  
  
It was about this time that they noticed a small, dirty boy standing in the doorway, staring at their plate of food. Swarms of children often frequented the dock of Port Royal, knowing that adventures were to be had there. This one had obviously been separated from his herd.  
  
When he noticed them looking, he made to leave. Jack stood up quickly. "You there, boy, would you know where the timber yard on this island is?  
  
The boy stopped, and nodded. He was a bit intimidated by the tall pirate. "jus down the street a bit, sir."  
  
"Would you show me?"  
  
The boy looked at the plate again. Jack grabbed it, walked over to the boy, and knelt down. He offered some food to the child, who was staring wide- eyed at Jack's sash, which bristled with various swords, daggers, and pistols. Jack turned and spoke. "Come on then, Ana, I've found us a guide." The boy moved his gaze from the pistols to Ana.  
  
She smiled at the two pairs of eyes watching her expectantly.  
  
She rose, and turned to Will and Elizabeth. "Thank you" she offered. "For welcoming us here"  
  
They smiled. "Of course." said Elizabeth. "You'll stay in Port Royal for a while, won't you?"  
  
"We'll stay until the Pearl is seaworthy again." replied Ana.  
  
"Or until I get us into trouble." Jack grinned. He started out the door with the boy, who was now busy stuffing his face. Ana made to follow him. Elizabeth stopped her. "You'll be coming to the wedding with Jack, right?" she asked.  
  
"I'll be keeping him in check, yes." replied Ana, raising her eyebrows at Jack, who gave her an innocent look.  
  
"Oh, wonderful. You could come by earlier that day, if you like. The maids could do your hair, and I have a closet full of dresses.." There were hardly any young women on the island of Elizabeth's age, and she was eager to have company besides her father's friends, boorish, old men whom she never talked to because of their preoccupation with her bust.  
  
"Oh, I have a dress.." replied Ana, thinking of the trunks full of beautiful dresses they had taken from the stash of treasure left by the cursed pirates. But noticing Elizabeth's disappointed look, she held up a piece of her hair "I could use some help with this, though, and I don't think any of the boys on the ship have much experience."  
  
Elizabeth smiled and nodded.  
  
Jack tapped one of his large boots impatiently. Ana walked over to them, and they headed out the door. Jack stopped to salute Will, and wink at Elizabeth. They laughed and bid him goodbye.  
  
As they headed down the street, their small leader looked up at Jack. "Are you a pirate?" He asked Jack suspiciously.  
  
"Yes." replied Jack.  
  
The boy considered this. "You're the funniest pirate I've ever seen."  
  
Ana laughed, Jack smiled. They continued down the street. 


	5. Stuff Happens

Ch.5  
  
Heading towards the beach, Jack and Ana Maria tried desperately to keep pace with their small guide, whose name was Tom. He darted in and out among the crowds, then cut into a small alleyway.  
  
Jack chuckled as he started to jog after the youngster. "Quick little fellow, this one!"  
  
Ana Maria nodded in agreement, and picked up her own pace a bit.  
  
They stopped at abruptly at the end of the small street. In front of them lay a large shipyard. Ships in various stages of completion and repair were scattered around about it, surrounded by large piles of wood. Jack smiled at Tom.  
  
"Thank you, lad, this is just what I was looking for." He knelt and handed the boy some silver coins. Tom gave him a little nod, grabbed the coins, and hurried off. Ana Maria pointed to a row of buildings along the edge of the shipyard. "I think that's where we need to go."  
  
Jack nodded in agreement. "Right you are, love." Then he started walking away from the buildings, down to the beach.  
  
Ana Maria ran in front of him, blocking his path. He continued, walking around her. She grabbed his shoulder, and gave him a yank so that he faced her. "Jack, what are you doing?? We need to go that way." She gestured to the building where they dealt with timber and other supplies for ships.  
  
Jack looked at the building, nodded, smiled, and continued to walk towards the beach. Ana followed him angrily. She reached up and grabbed his beaded goatee, pulling his face down so he looked her directly in the eyes. "We need that timber, and you're going to go get it. NOW."  
  
Jack raised his eyebrows, gently pried her hands from his beard, and spoke. "Of course, lass, but we need to fetch the crew, first!"  
  
Now Ana was confused. "What do we need the boys for?"  
  
Now Jack got a look of roguishness mixed with pride on his face. "You didn't think, love, that we were actually going to buy the wood for our ship, did you? We are pirates, after all. I've concocted a marvelous little plan involving ourselves and our crew, which will provide us with all the supplies we need at no cost to us!"  
  
Ana glared at him. "Jack, you were just pardoned! You told Will you were going to abide by the law!"  
  
"Yes, love." said Jack. "The pirate's law!"  
  
Ana looked worried and irritated. "We're going to steal it, Jack? There's no way we could escape...the ship's not able...and what about the wedding?"  
  
Jack shook his head, smiled at her "No worries, love. The plan covers it all."  
  
Ana stared at him. "But-"  
  
"The plan, love!"  
  
"I'm aware of the plan-"  
  
"You're not, though! Let me walk you to our boat, and I shall elaborate on my ingenious plot." He draped his arm around her shoulder, and began to lead her to the shore. Ana let him take her, though she wasn't entirely positive she trusted Jack and his "plan". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back at the forge, Will and Elizabeth walked back into the shop after they had waved farewell to their visitors.  
  
Will wandered over to one of the chairs and sat down. Elizabeth followed him, and plopped herself down on his lap. He smiled and put his arms around her.  
  
"Well, that was fun. Same old Jack, eh?"  
  
Elizabeth chuckled in agreement. "Yes, same old Jack. A charming, dashing, kind-hearted...."  
  
Will narrowed his eyebrows at his fiancé.  
  
She laughed when he saw the jealous look in his eyes. "You didn't let me finish! He's a charming, dashing, kind-hearted....absolute scoundrel. Did you see what he did to Ana Maria?? Running after her with his trousers down?"  
  
Will smirked. "I'm not sure that incident was entirely Jack's doing. He respects Ana too much, even more than respects her, perhaps.."  
  
Elizabeth stared at him. "Really? How do you know?"  
  
Will looked at her oddly. "Didn't you see how he looked at her when she laughed? It's the same way I've looked at you for my entire life." He said the second part rather quietly, looking at the floor.  
  
Elizabeth smiled, and drew up his face. When he was forced to look at her, he grinned, a bit seductively, and kissed her. They were still partaking in such romantic proceedings, when there was a loud knock at the door. Elizabeth jumped to her feet, straightened her hair, and walked to the door, opening it quickly.  
  
A tall man in uniform stood at the doorstep. (It was not Commodore Norrington, much to Elizabeth's relief.) He had shrewd eyes, and a rather gaudy wig that looked something akin to a dead albino monkey. Although she didn't like to judge according to first impressions, Elizabeth was inclined to dislike him. Even so, she invited him in. Will rose to his feet and bowed.  
  
"Welcome, sir. How can I help you?"  
  
The man looked him up and down. "You must be William Turner. The carpenter down the street told me I would find you here." he turned to Elizabeth. "And this must be the lovely Miss Elizabeth Swann. I didn't expect to find you here, but this is all the better, as I was looking for both of you." He took Elizabeth's hand and raised it to his lips. She was slightly revolted.  
  
Will tried not to reveal his own disgust. He walked over to Elizabeth, and took her hand protectively. "You're correct, I am William Turner, sir, and this is my fiancé, Miss Elizabeth Swann. May we have your name?"  
  
"Admiral John Moore." replied the man, bowing. "I've come to see if you can provide me with some information concerning the pirate Jack Sparrow. Do you know him?"  
  
Will responded to him in a defensive voice. "We are indeed acquainted with Jack Sparrow, sir. But I'm afraid "pirate" is his former status. He has just recently been pardoned by the governor of this island, and has become guiltless of any former crimes."  
  
"Is that so?" asked Moore. "Well, regardless of status, I still must find Mr. Sparrow, concerning some rather urgent matters. Have you any ideas of his whereabouts?"  
  
Will hesitated. He didn't know what to do. He had no idea who this man was or what his intentions towards Jack were. He glanced at Elizabeth, who was too preoccupied with Moore's hideous wig to meet his gaze.  
  
Moore, meanwhile, had casually reached out his arm and picked up a small piece of paper on the table . Will felt a wave of apprehension when he realized what it was. Jack had left the wedding invitation they had given him lying there. Moore quickly scanned the paper with his eyes. A smile spread over his face. "Well, it seems you do know where he is. Or where he will be, in any case."  
  
Will spoke. There was a hard edge to his voice. "Indeed, Jack is good friend of ours. And I'm afraid it was ONLY good friends and family who warranted an invitation to our wedding." The last thing that Will wanted was for this man to show up on his wedding day, looking for Jack.  
  
"I understand." spoke Moore. "I'm relieved at least to know that Mr. Sparrow is on the island. There is something I need to discuss with him."  
  
Elizabeth, who had managed to tear her attention away from Moore's wig, raised her eyebrow. She highly doubted that Moore was in Port Royal simply to do some "discussing" with Jack. With a glance in Will's direction, she started towards the door.  
  
"Well, I'm quite glad we could..ah..help you, sir." she said, looking at Moore. "But I'm afraid my father is expecting us for tea at my home in an hour, and we really must be going.."  
  
Moore stood, and walked to the door, which Elizabeth was holding open. "Yes, well, I apologize for bothering you, I'll not detain you from your appointment. Farewell."  
  
As Moore walked out the door and down the street, Will and Elizabeth looked at each other. Will spoke first.  
  
"Well, this has been a rather odd day."  
  
"Yes, quite a few interesting visitors." agreed Elizabeth.  
  
"Well, anyhow, now we only have to worry about one more visitor." said Will  
  
Elizabeth looked at him oddly. "Who do you mean, Will?"  
  
Will smiled at her. "The monkeys, of course!"  
  
"Will, what are you talking about?"  
  
"Yes, well, Moore had their wig, I'm sure they'll be wanting it back." 


	6. The Plan

Ch.6  
  
Jack stood outside Ana's quarters on the ship, tapping his boot impatiently. "Come on, lass, we haven't got all day! It's just a dress, after all, how hard can it be?"  
  
The door suddenly burst open, and Ana stormed out. "They may LOOK pretty, but curse it all, I've worn handcuffs more comfortable than this!!" She stood on the deck, glaring at no one in particular.  
  
Jack took a step back from the fuming pirate, and looked her over. "I don't know what yer all in a fuss about, missy. You look lovely!"  
  
Ana raised her eyebrows and spoke sarcastically. "Whadya say, laddy? Am I a peach worth pickin'?"  
  
"No lass," Jack walked to her side, grinned at her, offered his arm. "Yer a lobster worth lovin'!"  
  
She glared at him half-heartedly, hiding a smile. Taking his arm, she walked with him to the lifeboat.  
  
The rest of the crew was waiting on shore. They had all the lifeboats with them, ready to shuttle the stolen wood and other supplies to the Pearl. Jack had already informed them of the 'plan'. They weren't the smartest bunch of buccaneers in the Caribbean, but Jack had faith in them, and believed that the plan could be pulled off without a hitch.  
  
Besides Ana, Mr., Gibbs, Mr. Cotton, and Mr. Cotton's parrot, there were two Johns, whom Jack referred to as "first John", and "second John". There was also a Mr. Corner, a Mr. Dobbins, a Mr. Carty, and a man who changed his identity almost very week. When had Jack realized this, he decided it would be beneficial to make up a handle for the man, and since he had been very drunk when he made this decision, he now affectionately referred to the man as "Mr. Rumington."  
  
The whole crew was now gathered in a large group on the beach. Jack had cleaned himself up, and disguised himself as a wealthy merchant. Ana was meant to be his wife. There had been an argument about this, but Jack had pointed out that women were never pirates, and that if Ana dressed up as a respectable woman and accompanied him, the man they were robbing would never suspect a thing.  
  
The rest of the crew were dressed as 'pirates'. Although they were already technically pirates, Jack had insisted that they look more "fearsome" and so they put on the most billowing shirts, the most ripped-up pants, and the biggest boots they could find. They then stuffed their sashes full of weapons, smeared dirt and fish blood on their faces, and practiced talking in low, scratchy voices. They were, as a whole, quite intimidating, and Jack was immensely proud of them.  
  
He stood, looking them over. "Mr. Gibbs! Ana Maria! First John! Second John! Mr. Cotton! Mr. Corner! Mr. Dobbins! Mr. Carty! Mr. Rumington! Are you ready to proceed??"  
  
There was a general rumble of consent, which Jack took as a yes. They set out.  
  
After rowing to shore, Jack and Ana traveled directly to the shipyard. The rest of the pirates went with them, and hid behind buildings and in alleys surrounding the shipyard.  
  
Jack knocked on the door of the small building where supplies were sold and bargained for. There was a short wait, and then a stubby, balding man cracked the door open. He peered out at them for a bit, opened the door fully, and beckoned for them to enter.  
  
"Come in, come in! Is there something that I can help you with today, sir?"  
  
Jack strolled in, with Ana clinging to his arm. He spoke loftily. "Yes, indeed, I am in search of some certain materials which I can use towards the repair of my ship. Timber, primarily..."  
  
The man nodded, and smiled. "You've come to the right place, sir. I've just got a shipment of some fine cedar planks from up north. Are you planning on careening the ship?"  
  
"Yes, in fact, we are. On a small cay west of here."  
  
"And how many planks will you be needing? Of what variety is your ship?  
  
"It's a regular merchant vessel, Dutch, three masts. It's taken quite a lot of damage. Those bloody pirates, you know..."  
  
The man, whose name was Mr. Brown, shook his head sympathetically. "Rascals, those pirates are. There's more of them than ever nowadays...and they're so fierce!"  
  
Ana pretended to look frightened. Jack patted her hand reassuringly. "There, there, dear, nothing to be afraid of here.."  
  
Mr. Brown apologized "I'm sorry if I was scaring you a bit, miss, but there really isn't anything to wo-"  
  
It was about this time that rest of the crew of the Pearl burst through the door, snarling, and generally looking very scary.  
  
Mr. Brown gasped. Ana let out a little scream and fainted into Jack's arms.  
  
"WWRAAOOKK!!! SHIVER ME TIMBERS!" Mr. Cotton's parrot initiated the conversation.  
  
Second John stepped forward. "AVAST, vile CURS!!!! Don't try anything SLIPPERY, or we'll CHOP YA TA SMITHEREENS!!!!ARRRGGHH!!!!"  
  
Ana, who had awakened, let out a little cry and fainted again.  
  
First John joined Second John. "AYE! GIVE US WHAT WE WANT, OR WE'LL THROW YA TA DAVY JONES LOCKER!!"  
  
"WRRROOAAK!! DAVY JONES LOCKER"  
  
Mr. Brown stepped back, trembling. "I understand, I understand!! Please don't hurt us! I'll give you whatever you need!"  
  
Second John smiled wickedly. "That's what we want ta hear. We'll be needin' near seventy planks of yer best timber."  
  
"I..is that all? Of course! Anything.." Mr. Brown was beside himself. "It's outside...I can lead you to it...just please, please don't hurt anyone." he was staring at various weapons poking out of various sashes.  
  
Mr. Gibbs pulled out a sword and smiled at Mr. Brown. "Don't you worry, sir, no one 'ere'll be 'urt, as long as ya give us what we want." Mr. Brown didn't look convinced. "Shark Guts! Squid Killer!!" Mr. Gibbs barked at Mr. Corner and Mr. Dobbins (he had made up nicknames for them) "Take this fellow and his lady away! " Jack put on a horrified look, and Ana, who was conscious again, began sobbing hysterically.  
  
Mr. Gibbs looked at them sternly "Now don't you worry, we'll let you go as soon as our business here is finished. We just don't want you runnin' away and squealin' on us!" He prodded Jack and Ana towards the door with his sword. "Come on, now, go with Squid Killer here. Stop that horrid wailing, missy!" Ana was reduced to sniffling into Jack's shoulder, while he patted her gently on the head.  
  
As they were leaving the building, Jack groaned inwardly. He had forgotten to tell his crew to demand tar, and also mallets and fiber for caulking the ship. He suddenly turned, tearing himself from Shark Guts.  
  
"You horrible pirates!! You won't keep getting away with this sort of...ah....piracy! The nerve of it, robbing this man of his timber, his dignity, his TAR, and his CAULKING MALLETS!"  
  
To his dismay, his crew didn't seem to understand. This had not been part of the plan. They simply looked confused.  
  
Ana Maria, however, had caught on. "Oh NOOOOOOOOOooooo!!" she wailed "Not the CAULKING MALLETS!!! and the IRONS and the FIBERS toooooo...How COULD they!! Oh the HORROR!!!!!" She fainted against Jack again.  
  
Second John was the first to catch on. "Oh, ah, YES!!! Ah HA HA HA!!! We're takin' it ALL!!! You'll never see those caulking mallets AGAIN!"  
  
Jack was satisfied at this, and he let Squid Killer drag him and his incapacitated wife out the door.  
  
Mr. Brown had watched their exchange in a horrified and rather confused silence. But when Jack and Ana were gone, he was left alone with the pirates glaring at him, and he spoke up. "f..follow me.." he stammered. "I'll find you what you need..." 


	7. Don't Squash the Rum

Ch.7  
  
As soon as Squid Killer had dragged his two captives out of sight of the shipyard, he released them. Jack had a smug smile on his face.  
  
"Well, my dear," he said, looking at Ana. "What do you think of 'the plan' now?"  
  
"Don't look so happy yet, Mr. Sparrow." she replied. "This little plot of yours isn't quite finished."  
  
"Yes, well, I'd say we can expect it to go quite well, given the success of our first attempt. You're a wonderful player, love! Quite convincing. The fainting was a nice touch."  
  
Ana laughed. "Ooh! Not pirates!" she squealed, imitating her former performance. They all laughed as they made their way down to the beach and piled into one of the lifeboats. Squid Killer began to row quickly towards the Black Pearl. The second part of "the plan" was about to unfold.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back at the shipyard, the rest of Jack's crew was busy grabbing as much timber, tar, and other supplies as they could, and hauling their prizes down to their boats. They received no small number of suspicious looks, but no one tried to stop them, as they didn't appear to be of a very friendly sort. Mr. Brown remained locked in his office, with Shark Guts watching him.  
  
After the crew had packed as much as possible into their small boats, Mr. Gibbs summoned Shark Guts, leaving Mr. Brown huddled alone behind his desk, and they began the slow job of rowing the supplies across the bay. Eventually, Mr. Brown decided to peek around the corner of his desk. The pirates were gone. Shaking with fear, the poor little man stood up and scurried to the window. The shipyard was empty, of both pirates and timber. Now a new feeling, anger, washed over Mr. Brown. 'Bloody pirates!' he thought to himself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ana watched in the gathering twilight as several small boats bobbed across the water towards her. They sat low in the water, filled to the brim with the crew's various spoils. She had a small smile on her face. She had to admit, the plan had been a good one. If the authorities tried to question them, Ana and Jack could simply don their merchantly garb. Mr. Brown would immediately recognize them as those poor souls who were taken captive. In fact, he'd probably be relieved to find them alive. Maybe even apologize for the whole ordeal...  
  
Suddenly, she heard a commotion behind her. Jack shot out of the galley onto the deck, followed by Cook. Cook, despite his hefty girth, moved surprisingly fast, and brandished a frying pan above his head.  
  
"Ya vile cur!!! That's me finest rum!! I dunna care how happy ye are, ya don't need eight bottles!!" He was gaining on Jack, who was weighed down by the numerous bottles of rum which he carried in his hands and in his jacket.  
  
Jack, spying Ana Maria, darted under Cook's frying pan and ran to her. He huddled behind her, clutching his rum.  
  
Cook stormed up to the two pirates. "Ya can't hide there forever, Jack!"  
  
"It's CAPTAIN Jack, and yes, yes I can."  
  
Ana Maria cut in. "No, you can't! I'm going to have to move sometime!"  
  
"No you won't. Now stay out of this."  
  
"I will not stay out of this! In fact, I think perhaps I don't want to be your human shield anymore." Ana yanked her shoulder from Jack's grasp and strolled away, leaving Jack cornered by Cook.  
  
Cook laughed "Ha ha!! Lookit that! Even the ladies can't stand to be close ta ya!!"  
  
"I wouldn't say that, Cook. Your mother seemed rather eager to be close to me. Quite close, as it were..."  
  
Cook let out yell of rage. Ana cringed as she heard the noises from the ensuing battle.  
  
"Errgg!!! Get offer me! Ya great oaf! Yer going to crush the rum!!"  
  
~~~~~ Well., there you go. Sorry, I'm a bit rusty, I haven't written in a while. Hope you enjoy! 


End file.
